As I was talking about unconscious thoughts & if it was possible to be affected by something without actually noticing, I started braiding, and my deliberate braid started making a coincidental one, thereby absolving the end result from my own will or goal.

"There is so much I want to tell you, Ma. I was once foolish enough to believe knowledge would clarify, but some things are so gauzed behind layers of syntax & semantics, behind days & hours, names forgotten, salvaged & shed, that simply knowing the wound exists does nothing to reveal it."
Ocean Vuong, 'On Earth We're Briefly Gorgeous'